Miri Indoor Stadium

Recently, when i was in Miri Outoor Stadium..my past & present seem to meet each other at that point of life, in which I felt was the lowest.
None of my present that I would like to say "I love to be in you" I can't find a moment. At all. But a temporary laughter, a forgotten laugh, I think I had it once or twice..I can't remember when..or did I?? I often ask myself. I just can't retrieve the data.
I'm not welcomed by my past..they tend to say goodbye.
My present..I can't embrace it at all..I have no idea, maybe I'm not a robot, which means that I have past memories and feelings. I need to adapt and I guess the best way to adapt is known by my Father. And I guess..that's why. Let go the past and move on. Learn to embrace it.

The system & social order

Ahah, exactly!

That’s what you ought to a.k.a SHOULD do, said Little Mind.

Ever since I get-to-know Little Mind, I have never really seen him in person, but he always talks to me.

Invisible friends they said. Hurm..I’m not sure as well..This fella plays a vital role in life, he’s an advisor, unspoken one but can be heard. Nice right? J

Well, this Little Mind of mine has told me over and over again not to listen to the wind, hurm..what wind?? I’m not so sure as well ( same as above). LOL! Not to listen to the liver! Not to listen to the nature! But , my friend I tell you..when I really confronted this Little mister he said nothing, confusing people is his main job specification. :P

Across the street is Miss Liver. Nice name. I heard from no-where that her surname supposes to be Oliver. But they said, the family of this poor fella~ Oliver, don’t need the O, they throw it may be buried it like some unseen treasure of Titanic, may I change the location here..hehe The Red Sea. J

This Missy, hurm, keeps on telling me, she’s sick! And when she’s sick, the whole world would fall ill..hurm..something like Influenza I guess! Yay! It spreads through unseen medium. I dunno myself, and it spreads fast, so called the fastest one; can be millisecond for the whole world, sounds ridiculous, but it’s true! Yeah, really true.

My All, Mariah Carey??? Hurm..grammatical error, svo?? Wrong, wrong! But, I heard the small scale ruler said that there are systems. So, as a good citizen, I follow the system.

That’s what I’m feeling for the time being..and it is cancerous, once again. Can I ever be healed? Or it is just an ulcer?? Who knows..:) Or it’s nothing. Hope that it’s nothing. But something contradict. Noooooo!!! Said Miss Liver.

They are waiting

I saw people waiting for the public transport

I saw lots of expressions

I saw the little children ran happily around their parents..

I saw some of children with 'muka tidak sabar'? Cried? HAHA..I smiled foolishly.

I saw a couple kept on talking..as if the world would end the day after tomorrow

I saw senior citizens, they were smiling..patiently waited for the bus

I saw few underprivileged people, waited with full of hope

I saw few fortunate young adults too, waited while laughing at each other jokes..probably lame jokes.

I saw myself stared at the hopeful people! witnessing the whole scenery..lots of characters..and strangers.

I saw when the bus arrived, they all shouted with joy, in silence..shhh...and some verbally expressed.

My Lord,

I understand waiting for prayer to be answered can be illustrated above.

Lots of expressions and feelings..doubts and fears, anxieties..

Little children, can be symbolized as those who have child-like faith,

they complain a lot, maybe rebel?~ "why God haven't answered my prayer yet. fasterlah"

The couple?? Hurm, let me guess..Maybe those who are busy..Or maybe those who don't really care whether the prayer will be answered or not, it doesn't really matter to them. Not seriously prayed I guess..

Senior citizens, my Lord I defined them as matured Christians..they are more calm, patience while waiting for the Lord, I believe their foundation is trust & faith.

Underprivileged people? Yeah..those who have to rely on God 100%, for they don't know where to find help & directions to go..ever felt the same way?? Yeah, I'm feeling it right now.

Fortunate young adults? They are strong. They don't care whether God will answer their prayer or not, for they have other alternatives..

Are all the interpretations correct?? It's up to my Maker to decide.

The illustration of the people above, is not the real one. It's just my imagination, guess the painter is my Lord.

I shall write a poem dedicate to 2nd October.

Why is it so special?

Or

Why is it so painful?

Number is a number, it's meaningless..

Number becomes meaningful, when we make it meaningful

As far as she concerns..3 is an ideal number,

But, it's not anymore..

It's a 4..

Again, SIGH..what a big difference..!

So near yet so far..What's with the number 4?

Lord, why is it has to be 4?

Why not 3?

I look up to the sky,

Such a beautiful night

But, he's Lonely..no stars are there to accompany

Thoughts speak to me..

No wishing star, Yan..?

That maybe, I can make a wish..

Maybe a 3, or tree,

Trying to find the word-"understanding", but I fail

No, I haven't failed yet..

I'm still thinking with a 'Y'??

Dear Lord, why has to be 4?

Why ?? What's with the season?

Why not last season?

SIGH..

As I walk on the riverbed,

As I try to comprehend..

My head spins round & round..

I can't get it..

Still 'y' becomes brighter & brighter in my head

I look into the reason mailbox,

Alas, it's empty

Stated 'PENDING'

Slowly I seal my lips..lock, and keep it safe in the treasure chest.

Silence..but my mind is wondering~ 'Y'

Job.

life..

can indeed be compared as a wheel..

sometimes,

sometimes the top is ours,

sometimes the below part is ours too.

Remember the story of Job?

Yeap..

yeah..I think this story is quite similar to that fella.

It's all about when everything were taken.

It will be given back.

She? she's in the wheel..as the air of the rubber tire.

Who is the rider of the bicycle?

God..

She, herself..?

Uhh, ahh..I can't hardly figure it out.

I saw a young girl cried at the entrance of her new primary school..

why??

because she was a stranger in that school, years before..

I saw her without friends..to understand,

ah?? did u mean the same girl. yup

because she's new..then back then, she's became poor. hardly lived.

nobody wanted to be her friends..

like an unwanted rubbish, can be thrown elsewhere..

the same girl again..? yes.

she didn't have money, that she used to have.

what was left for her, God?

few notes..& a new family that..ermm.. indescribable.

a letter is written to her no where to be seen childhood friend,

it is never posted.

trusted she may be. but MAYBE things had changed.

She saw something that had caused her heart in a real pain

a liter of teardrops.

her breadwinner, used to be her pride..

became someone else..simen parit??

and just like that,

HUMAN can be

someone to no one.

The laughter??

I mean the real one??

What about the joy??

The real one??

Oh, all of it disappear in the thin air.

new philosophy was introduced:

One chicken must be kept in the pocket, every Friday.

One money must be saved.

One net must be used to catch for variety.

One must learn to survive in an unmerciful society.

One sarung batik must be used every single day.

One tear for one second, dropped silently.

One lived under mercy.

As I stand from afar.. I saw the girl once again.

She kept none of the horror pictures in the album.

Burnt in the fire.

Slowly..she moves away from the darkness to the light.